The best of a year of "the crime"
January
- Impotence. Devised a method to replace Viagra pills with an ultrasonic stimulator. At home no one will notice your problem, except the dog.
- Andreotti takes 91 years. One hundred of these days, Senator! So, with extenuating circumstances, it is not more than nine.
- The Senate commemorates the death of Craxi. For the occasion was osservato un minuto di ipocrisia.
- Giorno della Memoria. Spopola l’applicazione che permette di scaricare sull’i-Phone i discorsi del Duce. E presto la Apple farà uscire un nuovo modello: l’i-Hitler.
Febbraio
- Visita di Berlusconi a Gerusalemme. Quando ha visto tutta quella gente che percuoteva la fronte sul Muro del Pianto ha detto: “Coraggio. Questo ve lo faccio mettere a posto da Bertolaso”.
Marzo
- Muore l’astrologo Van Wood. This is for your health. Much love and best work.
- Model Gisele Bundchen says goodbye to the runway. And we his.
- Take daylight savings time. Alfano sends inspectors.
April
- Saints Licheri dies, the first of the judges paid by Berlusconi.
- Hugh Hefner turns 84 years old. Great enthusiasm when, from one of the bunnies, she went out a cake.
- Dies Raimondo Vianello. The Mondaini "What coffin, how boring ... What a bore, cheating ..."
- Pope turns 83. It is no longer a kid, and then to church at least he is safe.
- Padre Pio is traversed in the crypt plate made with 3 pounds of solid gold by Renzo Piano. Then who was that with a spendthrift?
May
- Letizia celebrates her eighteenth birthday in Milan. E 'right, once he goes down, once she comes up.
- discovered the artificial DNA. But at high temperatures can become matted.
- After 40 years, Al Gore leaves his wife. It was still good, but consuming too much.
June
- Traditional parade of the Roman Forum. Massive deployment of men and equipment of the Armed Forces. Berlusconi forced to reassure the public: "It is a coup! It is a coup! "
- Born the son of Piersilvio Berlusconi and his grandfather is already everything: small, bald and always whimper.
- Princess of Sweden marries his personal trainer. Fitness oblige.
- Napolitano turned 85. He said it: "If it takes me more than 80 signature."
July
- Delivered to Berlusconi Grand Prix Milan. After seven months, the Knight is back in Cathedral Square to take the second statuette.
September
- Sandra Mondaini died. Not even six months of peace for the poor Raymond.
- Dies Foppa Pedretti. But no problem: there is a new rosewood case that, when used, it stores neatly under the bed.
October
- Nobel Peace Prize to Liu Xiaobo, in prison 11 anni. “Ah, ma se questi devono essere i requisiti!” ha commentato deluso Berlusconi.
- Cassano aspetta un maschio. Che bello: presto avrà qualcuno con cui giocare a pallone!
Novembre
- William d’Inghilterra annuncia le nozze e regala l’anello di Lady D alla fidanzata Kate. Il rigido cerimoniale ha impedito alla ragazza di grattarsi.
- E’ nata Penelope, la figlia di Gianna Nannini. Massimo riserbo sul nome della madre.
- Ricoverato al San Giovanni, Monicelli si suicida. Perché il finale lo decide sempre lui.
- Leslie Nielsen also died, Lt. Drebin in "Naked Gun". Obviate the need for emergency hospitalization at the hospital in Love.
December
- NASA discovers an alien life form on Earth. It was the Ministry for regulatory simplification.
- jew becomes DiCaprio to marry supermodel Bar Rafaeli. He decided to attach the foreskin to the nail.
- Thirty years ago the murder of John Lennon. But Giovanardi was a bomb in the toilet.
- Tommaso Padoa Schioppa.
- Died Enzo Bearzot. Pertini Scirea and were just waiting for him to make a living with tressette.
- Nespoli, our astronaut on the Soyuz, wishes you to spend a happy Christmas. Easy to say, when you're up there.
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